Tell It To COACHIE

Today about 2:30 we got an automated call from the girls’ school.  The automated calling system is new, and the few times it has been used, it has always brought boring information - the type I usually hang up on before I hear the message is finished.  Today’s message was a little more interesting:

“Hi, I’m Blah Blah, principal of Blah Blah Elementary.  We are contacting the families of all of our students who walk home from school.  Due to the spotting of an injured coyote on the walking trails today, the district will provide transportation home for all walkers.”

At least I know that if we can somehow stay uneated for the next 48-hours,  we will be safe on Sunday and Monday in St. Louis.  Then what?

Why do people live here?

When I heard the first boom, I assumed it was artillery on one of the training ranges. The second boom I heard was a little louder and stranger than I’m used to, so I went to the window to investigate.

Fortunately, it didn’t break the window.

That’s really the only nice thing I have to say about the whole situation.

I couldn’t reach any part of it to pull it down, so I had to call the HP home from work, and together we managed to get it back on the ground. The HP started unscrewing the legs and told me he had everything under control, so I went inside to get ready for my snack time date at Marty’s school.

A few minutes later, I heard him call “Shannon,” which may well be my name, but it is not anything he ever calls me. I found some shoes and went back outside where the HP stood in his grass-stained ACUs. The wind had gotten under the trampoline again, had thrown the HP into the neighbors’ yard, and had reattached the trampoline to the side of the house. We finally got the stupid thing down again, the HP got the stupid legs off of it, and now it sits on the stupid side of the stupid house, weighted down with big stupid rocks. I’d take a picture of it, but that means going outside again, and I don’t see that happening.

The trampoline is likely a total loss.

Haven’t these people ever heard of spring?

Yeah, so I wasn’t burned out or anything last week, and I had every intention of getting right back here after a day off, but somehow I was swallowed whole by the book fair at the girls’ school.  And then there was the tutoring.  And the “adopt-a-reader.” And basically I spent as much time at school last week as any teacher or student without getting any money or stickers for my trouble.

This weekend we went to St. Louis, and when we returned I was buried under so much laundry that I couldn’t reach the keyboard.  This week I’ve got more tutoring plus two “student-led” conferences on two different days (for the record, I hate “student-led” conferences with a white hot burning passion), plus the “adopt-a-reader” and an all-day field trip on Saturday (for which I will also receive no money or stickers).  And so it is you, my poor friends who are being neglected.

But if by some miracle I do have a few moments to myself, I will pour my heart out to you because there is an incident that occurred at DSW this weekend that I really need to get off my chest.

1. March is by far the looongest month.

2. Snow and ice are not the only problems a person can have with a sloping driveway.

3. Who knew that the way I eat an chocolate easter bunny could be so revealing?

Your Chocolate Easter Bunny Personality

You know what you want in life and how to get it, but only if it’s not raining. You’re not going to waste time or let yourself be meek unless it is raining. Whether it’s chocolate, money, or power… You take what you can get, and you act quickly but only if it’s not raining.You have a lot of energy, and people sometimes scared by your determination, but not when it’s raining. Not that you care what other people think. You’re not going to apologize for who you are, especially if it’s raining.

The Easter Bunny Quiz

4. A carport may keep off the rain, but it can’t hold back the muck (or random floating white trash items). The muck came in handy however, because it is the reason I was parked on the slope when we had our latest flash flood. Then again it is also the reason that we had the flash flood, so maybe I’ve got mold on the brain.

5. I’d be a lovely person if only this were ever applicable:

What Your Easter Egg Says About You

You are cheerful, friendly, and open minded when it is not raining. You do your best to make sure everyone is happy, including yourself when it is not raining. Empathy comes easily to you when it is not raining. You are very forgiving when it is not raining. You don’t hold grudges when it is not raining. You easily forget about any negativity in your life when it is not raining.

The Easter Egg Personality Test

6. Let’s see, did I mention it’s been a looooooong month?

7. On the plus side:

Your Spelling is Perfect

You got 10/10 correct.Your spelling is excellent when it is not raining. You also have a great memory and eye for detail when it is not raining.

How’s Your Spelling?

8. The money and nagging spent on guitar were definitely worth it. (Also, Marty is a raving loony toon even when he isn’t performing for the cameras - but I guess I already knew that)

9. The whole “make a lot of lists” was not as inspiring as I expected. Also, I really don’t think I can go another month, but I am switching to a new more boring theme. Won’t that be nice?

10. It rains a lot here. Did I mention that?

And of course, a bonus. How could we wrap up a Nablopomo month without a little ditty from Barry?

But Marty informs me that I must come to his school in the morning, or he will never be allowed to read the alphabet book that he made.  Never. Ever.  I cannot be responsible for such injustice, so now I am off to bed.

Maybe I’ll have a big finish for you tomorrow.

I wouldn’t hold your breath.